A snail crawls on my face. It makes me laugh. It's a cute little snail. It glides around to my ear and whispers something in a strange language that I can't understand.

I am on a boat in a river. All around me people are drowning. I throw them cough lollies. As soon as the cough lollies hit the water they expand into life rafts. The drowning people climb into the life rafts, start the motors and buzz away to the banks of the river where their happy families hug and kiss them.

I'm a chunk of pineapple in a tub of icecream in a freezer. This is perfect. I'll stay here forever.

I am drinking oceans full of old movies. All those colour pictures. The sound effects, the characters, the adventures. All those black and white pictures. All the crackling sound. All the silent flickering people walking too fast. Soon I will be full of old movies. I think I am going to vomit.