Dear Dawn Mitchel

The main change if your mother and father got divorced is that they wouldn't be living together. They would live in different places and you would spend time with them there. You might spend most of your time with one of your parents or you might spend most of your time with the other.

If you're lucky and your parents are still getting on reasonably well and are still behaving in a civilised fashion then you can come and go without too much problem.

Unfortunately, sometimes, when parents divorce they finish up angry and upset with each other and that makes it very difficult. The parents are so upset and hurt that they may not be able to help you as much as they usually do. This doesn't mean that they don't love you. They're just distracted.

If your mother or father moves in with a new friend then you may finish up living with someone else who has kids.

Sometimes things get better once your parents become divorced.

If they've argued a lot and have been very unhappy then it may get easier for everyone, including you. Even so, most kids still wish that their parents had been able to live happily together.

There's something important for you to realise. It's not your fault.

And don't worry about feeling angry--it's normal. Go and kick something outside the house (not a brother or a sister or a pet, though!) Yell. You might feel better.

Remember--parents don't divorce because of the children. They divorce because of a problem between themselves. So it's not your fault.

Yours sincerely 

Virginia R. Claire

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